I knew one way that the East Asian shame differed from
the American shame was that there was an element of dishonor in the East Asian
shame, which is probably why shame became so deeply rooted in the culture for
centuries. To better understand the context of shame in Chinese culture, I read
a journal article on the utility of
shame by the Early Confucians. The article traces the
origin of that dishonor: engaging in warfare in defense of the honor of the
warrior class and aristocracy.
“The warrior aristocracy lived in near
constant war. Warfare represented the defense of the clan’s lineage and honor
so it became a part of the ancestral cult, institutionalized as a religious
duty…In a society in which rank is determined by physical aggression and force,
bravery and physical prowess become prized virtues. In a society in which rank
is determined by social attention-holding power, social influence and empathy
are prized virtues…Early Confucian texts aimed to increase social harmony and
decrease violence by promulgating a networked ideology with specific emotional,
behavioral and cognitive content. Early Confucians sought this goal in two
ways. Confucians in Warring States China inherited a social rank system
dominated by physical dominance. First they recalibrated the sense of shame to
function in and to facilitate the development of a social environment in which
dominance is achieved by prestige, not physical force. Second they altered
shame experience, the sense of shame, and additional features of our
bioprogram, so that embodiment of a suite of quasi-moral traits of character
was necessary for achievement of high social status in their prestige-based
system of social rank.”
The article went on to revealingly elaborate on how
shame was elevated to the status of a basic human emotion in Chinese culture.
Its discussion on the shame profile in the present-day Confucian diaspora
echoed my own experience of feeling shame.
I was aware that the most influential schools of Chinese
philosophy were all founded during the Warring States Period, which deservedly earned
its name. I was mostly proud of these philosophical schools and their ideals,
but I paid little attention to the level of social unrest and cruelty that
Chinese people experienced during that time.
One thing that the majority of today’s Chinese people are
proud of is that — even though the Middle Kingdom was invaded and conquered by
other ethnic groups, from the Mongols and the Manchus to the Western imperial
powers — China never conquered other nations by force. In fact, that was how past
generations of collapsed dynasties throughout Chinese history coped with the
humiliation of losing their homeland. They believed they were more civilized
than their conquerors. The mechanism of that civilization process, however,
involves what psychologists call shame induction.
It is unsettling to revisit the social background of
how shame was established in Chinese Confucian culture, just as when I heard
about how Burmese Buddhists treated their fellow Burmese Muslims. I feel like I
was awakened up from my illusion of peace and saw the undercurrents that were
constantly in conflict. It is like a state in meditation called delusion
concentration, where the mind is not really concentrated, but one comes out of
it believing it to be right concentration.
Perhaps, we sometimes need that illusion of peace in
the same way that we need guilt or shame to keep destructive actions at bay.
At the right time, we will replace guilt with grace
and shame with compassion because we want to be motivated by love rather than
fear.
It is a long process to transform ordinary goodness to
true benevolence. I believe honesty is the stepping stone. That’s how we break
through our illusion of peace.
